What is a pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? They were yelling "Bach Bach Bach Bach" Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why does Santa have three gardens? Q: Why does Santa have three gardens? A: So he can "hoe, hoe, hoe." What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The Pizza doesn't scream when I put it in the oven. What did the 2 rednecks say after breaking up? Let's just be cousins. You might get carried away.ĭo you like fish sticks? Well then, you're a gay fish. Shall I tell you the joke about the kidnappers? I'd better not. How do you turn an Indian woman on? Press the red button. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them. What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fitsĭid you hear about the oyster who went to the ball? He pulled a muscle Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one? A retail store. How do you call it when an egg is on point? Egg zactly! What do you call a russian tree? Dimitree Why are there so many blood cells in female prisons? Because the sentences usually end with periods. What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor? A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge! Why is little Annie's shoe floating in the sea? Because the shark burped. Who is 2016's biggest sellout? Kevin Durant or Bernie Sanders? What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a hooker with dysentery? One shucks between fits. Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? He was having a mid-life crisis What's the difference between a bullet and a human? A bullet doesn't miss Harambe Which Star Trek character is a member of the magic circle? Jean-Luc Pickacard What do you call a person who is outside a door and has no arms nor legs? Matt
What's the best anti diarrheal prescription? Mycheexarphlexin Did you hear about the Native American man that drank 200 cups of tea? He nearly drown in his own tea pee.